Pump House Misses The Point

The UMPHs aren't tracky-dacks and Blunnie people (not in combination, anyway).  They're not hung up on a Tasmanian team being part of the Australian Football League, either.  In fact, there are many Tasmanian stereotypes that they don't conform to at all, given that they're not "dregs, bogans or third generation morons," as Leo Schofield has described the populace.  However, like so many citizens of the island state, late autumn will see them happily snuggled into their black puffer jackets and a Subaru wagon does grace their driveway.

Some years ago, Tasmania had the highest per capita Subaru ownership in the southern hemisphere.  It may still be so, notwithstanding the growth of the SUV market and the entry of many new manufacturers into the segment.  At least five Subies reside in the UMPH's own short street alone.

And so it was, with the Exxie out of action until who knows when, the Galant way too loud for Mrs UMPH's liking and her Pug too pristine for the muddy roads of the Central Highlands, that the UMPHs headed from Hobart in their anonymous all-wheel drive.  (If anything, the addition of the roof-top bike carrier makes it look more like everyone else's.)  It was to be a good choice of vehicle.

Their destination - Simon Currant's latest venture, Pump House Point (pumphousepoint.com.au) - is located on the southern shore of Lake St Claire, near Derwent Bridge.  PHP's website suggests that visitors leaving from Hobart breakfast at the Ginger Brown Cafe in South Hobart, which is a commendable choice.  However, the UMPHs chose to start their day at the seriously good Small Fry (3/129 Bathurst Street, Hobart - Ph: 6231 1338 - small-fryhobart.com.au), where they enjoyed great coffee and wonderful soft boiled eggs on sour-dough topped with goat's curd, and a pea and asparagus tartine. 

From Small Fry, they headed north to Granton, up to New Norfolk - said to be Australia's antiques capital - and along the left bank of the upper reaches of the Derwent River past the Salmon Ponds, through Plenty, the Bushy Park hop fields and on to Hamilton for lunch.  Sadly, Hamilton's bakery is currently for sale and was closed, while Jackson's Emporium, which the PHP website also recommends, had failed to impress UMPH on his last visit, leaving Glen Clyde House as their only lunch option.  The latter's steak and Guinness pie was adequate but that's about all that could be said of it.

From Hamilton, the UMPHs continued through Ouse (pronounced ooze) and past the beautifully restored ex-Hydro Electric Commission town of Tarraleah, which now offers accommodation in what were Hydro-workers' houses, plus a pub, takeaway and a golf course.  Whisky tastings are available in the main lodge and murder mystery nights are apparently very popular. 

The Subaru's all-wheel drive came into its own on the greasy, wet roads as they continued through to Lake St Clair, even if UMPH was lamenting its lack of a WRX badge and accompanying turbo.  The A10, which goes all the way to Queenstown on the state's west coast, is well maintained.  However, rain is common in the area, as are ice and snow in winter, meaning that traction can be an issue on its many bends.

Things got of to a great start upon arrival at PHP.  The staff were very friendly and the venue was certainly fit for the celebration of Mrs UMPH's birthday, which, without saying too much, ended with a zero.  The accommodation is in what was a Hydro pump station, accessed via a long concrete walkway, so that it's actually located on Lake St Claire itself.        

Proof of Tasmanianism:  Mrs UMPH models her black puffer in front of Pump House Point

             

PHP has two bars - one in the pump-house and the other in an on-shore building that doubles as the guests' dining room - both of which operate on an honesty system whereby patrons help themselves to whatever tipple takes their fancy and jot it down on a pad for the staff to reckon up later.  Very civilized.  The UMPHs were chuffed to see a mainly Tasmanian wine list, including a couple of offerings from Kate Hill, as well as a good range of spirits.  

However, they were nearly incredulous to see that there were no Tasmanian whiskies included.  It seemed absurd to them that what's been marketed as an accommodation icon wouldn't include - trade on, even - other great Tasmanian enterprises to maximise the experience.  Bill Lark has just been recognised as the best whisky distiller in the world outside of Scotland, after all!

In a similar vein, it would've been nice to see some local craft beers.  The Two Metre Tall brewery is practically local, being located on the right bank of the Derwent River fifteen to twenty minutes' drive from New Norfolk but, sadly, it wasn't featured.

Adding to the UMPHs' disappointment was that of the two single malt Scotches listed as being available - Oban and Talisker - only the former was in stock.  A small thing, for sure, but PHP isn't marketed as mere accommodation - it's an experience but, sadly, one that wasn't quite living up to expectations.  Not all the listed wines were available, either.  Then the main bar ran out of wine glasses, there were cigarette butts on the pump-house walkway and discarded wiring in the aqueduct at the shore end.  Not a good look! 

The biggest miss, however, was the dinner offering.  Guests have two options:  a sit-down affair on long tables with but one choice for main course and one for desert - in this instance, honey-glazed Scottsdale ham on mash with seasonal vegetables, followed by a chocolate brownie, or dining from their own room's 'larder' of Tasmania goodies, predominantly from the WurstHaus.  The long-table meal was a very reasonable $50 per person; the larder-offering was also well-priced and run on the same honesty system as the bars.

What the UMPHs couldn't understand though is why, when their room was priced at more than twice a normal Tasmanian room rate, there wasn't an al a carte dining option show-casing Tasmania's absolutely first rate produce.    The other guests looked quite well-heeled; it's unlikely they wouldn't have liked to take their Tasmanian experience that bit further.  And why was it that the only seating option was on long tables?  Not quite the intimate dinner for two UMPH had envisaged.  The UMPHs opted for the WurstHaus larder and ate it in their room.

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Anyone who finds themselves in the Central Highlands really must visit the Wall In The Wilderness (thewalltasmania.com).  Located in a giant building in Derwent Bridge just five minutes' drive from PHP, the Wall is an amazing artwork comprising of 300 square metres of woodcarving depicting the history, flora and fauna of the Central Highlands.  The sculptor, Greg Duncan, has created a work in progress with some panels being complete, while others have only just been sketched in.  All stages of the process are shown, allowing the viewer to fully appreciate the artist's skill and vision.  There's also a hearty fire and a bar that actually stocks Tasmanian whisky!

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With the lack of a fitting dinner still nagging at the UMPHs, a phone call was made and a plan hatched.  It is possible to reach the town of Bothwell and its excellent whisky distillery and restaurant, The Nant (nant.com.au - Ph: 1800 746 453), via Ouse or Hamilton.  The Nant assured UMPH that as long as he was able to get there by 2.30 pm, they would still be serving lunch.

The UMPHs chose the thirty six kilometre gravel 'shortcut' from Ouse, as opposed to the well sealed, gently winding route in from Hamilton.  If the Subie's all-wheel drive was reassuring on the wet tar of the A10, it was almost essential on the tortuous, undulating goat track that wound its way through un-fenced sheep and cattle paddocks on its way to Bothwell.  The heavy rain was blown nearly horizontal by the unrelenting wind, making for a very bleak outlook indeed. 

The Nant were true to their word, still offering lunch at nearly 2.00 pm when the UMPHs finally arrived.  The staff soon had them settled with a glass of merlot while they perused the menu and each decided on a rack of Tasmanian lamb, accompanied by a generous serve of local vegetables and potatoes roasted in duck fat.  Yum!  It was the meal that should have been available at PHP the night before.

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Overall, PHP was an enjoyable experience.  But it wasn't everything that it could have been and that's a bit disappointing.  On the other hand, The Nant is on the UMPHs' revisit list but, next time, they'll be booking some local accommodation, staying for lunch, enjoying a tour and doing a bit of whisky tasting, too.


UMPH.

PS: If you enjoyed this post, please visit http://uppermiddlepetrolhead.blogspot.com.au for more classic cars, route suggestions and Tasmanian dining experiences.