Upper Middle Petrol Head:

Tasmania's getting famous for all the right reasons!  Our food's great, the wine, beer and cider industries are going great guns, the scenery's spectacular and MONA has set the arts scene on fire.   And we've got Targa!  In fact, we invented it (well, if you ignore the classic Italian road race - the Targa Florio - for which it's named, that is).  The Tasmanian version has since spawned Targas in Victoria ( Targa High Country ), Adelaide and Western Australia.   As you' expect, UMPH is a big Targa fan.  For the last 23 years, he's been getting up at the crack of dawn and dragging some sleep-deprived but equally fanatical Targa-lovin' mates to freeze their collective arses off whilst scoffing eggs 'n' bacon and perving on the passing automotive parade. This year's co-conspirators were Kenny Woodheap and his son, Woodie, pictured below skulking in his hoodie.  He's the one on the right, scarfing down an egg and bacon pie, waiting for...

Those of you that know UMPH will realise he's no fan of shaving.  The greying beard probably gives it away, right?  Yes and no.   Yes , because he really does love his facial follicles but no , because in this instance he's actually referring to the strange practice of removing vehicles' external door handles and locks. In its most extreme version - the 'Lo-Lux' look favoured by young skater types - even the door handles get removed.    Devotees of the style like to ruin perfectly serviceable utes by dropping the rears so low the headlights point skywards, then weld and bog-up nearly anything that ever hinged or opened.   How they even get into their faux-gangsta mobiles is a mystery.  Electronic remotes, perhaps?  What if the battery goes flat?  Anyway, enough said about the pants half-way down their bums brigade and those stupid skater hats ... This week's subject is more semi-shaved ; an old-school bikini line rather t...